Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Holiday Brag Sheet

Holiday Greetings, Far-flung Friends and Other People I care about (in my fashion):

Hope you are all well in these tough economic times. And don’t get me started on the environment: if another polar bear comes knocking on my door for a handout of salmon or moose meat or muktuk I’m gonna scream. Oh, that’s just a joke—you would have to drive for hundreds of miles to get to the Arctic Ocean to see a polar bear and all you’re gonna see anyway are a bunch of leaky oil pipes out there on the sea ice.

I am lucky and thankful that my job as lab manager, with basic medical, is good for another few months. The work is progressing but very top secret you know. Kaneesha our jeep is doing well but I don’t want to give her a swelled head. Lately she has gotten into the habit of relaxing her driver’s side door muscles and smacking the car next to us just as I’m getting out. It’s very embarrassing but fortunately we haven’t been caught. I think Kaneesha has the car equivalent of tennis elbow, which I have in spades now from skiing. It’s been too cold to ski, or even really to breathe, but we do what we can. We try not to spend too much time wiping our bums in the outhouse on really cold mornings—thank goodness there’s baby wipes indoors to finish the job!

Joe is at Toolik until the 23rd. After that it’s the bike shop for several months until spring. I have taken up a new hobby: brandy. It gives us both something new to look forward to being around each other in a log cabin for the remainder of winter.

What else? Gareth turned 16 and Simon had a party last night. There was roast chicken and chocolate cake and several bottles of wine. Except for the Birthday Boy the other guys were way over 40. Dale and Jeff and Ken were there, so were Anna and Elizabeth (who are way under 40). Hey did you know I can turn completely invisible in a room full of people? It must be one of the new superpowers you get turning 50. I could have walked out with all the silverware and nobody would have noticed!

It would not be a proper holiday form letter without a graphic play-by-play of medical issues. Don't like to hear gory medical details? Well suture self!

Me: mammogram and pap smear, normal; tennis elbow is flaring up. I am still getting my periods which at my age is something.

Joe: still gets rider’s rash from 20 years ago, otherwise OK.

Simon and Gareth: I don’t think they have any medical issues. Simon’s probably hung over today. Gareth’s probably finished the cake by now.

Simon’s truck: It actually RUNS! I haven’t actually seen it running but he swears it is.

Blob: sore paw got better. All the other dogs are OK, except Buddha who had bad gas.

Wishing you all the best. Looking forward to 50 more. Well I’d settle for 8 more good years and some brandy.
And oh yes I’m VERY VERY BUSY and my life is GREAT!


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